It seems the process of letting go is something one must wait for. I have felt a shift in myself which happened spontaneously while hiding from the scorching sun on the beach, under a beach dome tent (something I swore never to own due to the eyesore factor, but which proved an utter godsend on a day we killed time on the beach at 40 degrees from 11am till 6pm!!). I read Ken Carey's The Return of the Bird Tribes, in between cooling dips into blue green heaven and chasing my two pale chickens with their hats. After this day, I noticed I felt...easier, my bowel movements became regular and freeing, I finally began to clean my TERRIBLE DESK , my husband noticed something had dropped away.
Letting go of ...something....like losing baby teeth...it happens when it happens.
So, the terrible desk is still imperfect but getting there.